I'm super depressed right now. Any little thing to help would be appreciated.?

I'm trying to live a happy life, but it's hard with so much misery around me. I see the shape the world's in, I see how my entire family is falling apart around me, and all of my numerous flaws are constantly staring me in the face. I feel alienated from everyone, even my own friends. I know they care, and yet I still feel alone. I don't know how to change anything. I don't want to get stuffed with a bunch of antidepressants, as that would just be avoiding the problem. Is there anything to help? I'm scaring myself, the thought of suicide popped up into my head for the first time. I didn't actually consider it, but the fact that I even thought about it scares me. I feel like I'm in a constant daze. Like someone put a sheet of saran wrap between me and the world. Nothing in life feels the same anymore. I feel like I'm a shadow of who I used to be. I don't feel like myself. No matter what I say to myself, absolutely nothing changes. I don't know what to do.